Emergency Tarot Reading | Same-Day Reading for People Currently Experiencing a Character Development Arc
$250.00 USD
Sale price
$250.00 USD
Regular price
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šØ EMERGENCY TAROT READING šØ
Same-Day Reading for People Currently Experiencing a Character Development Arc
$250
"Because sometimes life sends a text message that rearranges your entire personality."
š® WHAT THIS IS
This reading is for people who have recently experienced one or more of the following:
ā ļø A text message that altered the chemical composition of their bloodstream
ā ļø A job opportunity that looks suspiciously too good
ā ļø A breakup
ā ļø A reconciliation
ā ļø An inheritance
ā ļø A lawsuit
ā ļø A spiritual awakening
ā ļø A complete and utter circus
ā ļø The sudden urge to shave your head, move to Costa Rica, and become a cacao facilitator
THIS READING MAY BE FOR YOU IF:
You have said:
š© "I just need confirmation."
š© "I'm fine."
š© "I'm not overthinking."
š© "I only checked their Instagram 17 times."
š© "The universe has been sending me signs."
š© "I can explain."
š© "Okay but hear me out."
š© "I fear this may be a terrible idea."
WHAT YOU RECEIVE
āØ Same-Day Priority Service
āØ A detailed tarot reading
āØ Situation analysis
āØ Potential outcomes
āØ Blind spots
āØ Spiritual perspective
āØ A compassionate reality check if necessary
āØ The energetic equivalent of grabbing your shoulders and asking, "Friend. What exactly are we doing?"
WHAT I WILL NOT DO
ā Tell you your ex is communicating through angel numbers
ā Confirm every conspiracy theory your anxiety created
ā Cosign obvious foolishness
ā Tell you Mercury Retrograde personally keyed your car
ā Explain away every red flag as a soulmate journey
ā Participate in clownery without proper permits
MY READING STYLE
Imagine if:
š® Your favorite auntie
š® A therapist who can't legally be your therapist
š® A tarot deck
š® And a mildly concerned guardian angel
all sat down at the same table.
That's the vibe.
WHO THIS IS REALLY FOR
The woman holding 47 screenshots.
The man refreshing his email every six minutes.
The entrepreneur staring at a contract.
The situationship survivor.
The person one inconvenience away from becoming a forest witch.
The person who knows better but would like a second opinion from the cards before acting like a raccoon in a dumpster.
WARNING
This reading may result in:
ā” Blocking people
ā” Applying for jobs
ā” Taking opportunities
ā” Leaving nonsense alone
ā” Drinking water
ā” Minding your business
ā” Discovering the situation wasn't nearly as dramatic as your imagination made it
ā” Discovering it was actually MORE dramatic
šØ SPIRITUAL EMERGENCY ROOM šØ
Before you:
āļø Move across the country
š Marry a stranger
š± Send the paragraph
šø Quit your job
š„ Burn the bridge
šŖ Join the circus
š» Text your ex
š§š¾āāļø Become a swamp witch
Let's pull some cards first.
Because the cards don't lie.
But your panic absolutely does. šš®āļøāØ
Emergency Tarot Reading | Same-Day Reading for People Currently Experiencing a Character Development Arc
$250.00 USD
Sale price
$250.00 USD
Regular price